[11-Part Series | Chapter 01] Can “I Feel More Desire Than Before” Actually Be Measured? — Sexual Desire in Your 40s

If your desire had been “63” last year and “81” this year, the answer would be easy: it rose by 18 points. Unfortunately, no such meter exists.

We can measure temperature, blood pressure and weight. Desire happens inside our own body and mind, yet we cannot see it as a number or compare it accurately with someone else’s.

So when you feel, “My sexual desire has become stronger in my 40s,” the interesting question is: stronger than what? Your twenties? Your thirties? Your partner? What you hear from friends?

Perhaps the desire itself has not increased. Perhaps you have simply become more aware of it.

Female desire is not a single dial controlled only by the body. Health, stress, sleep, work, family, self-image, relationships, safety and intimacy can all matter. Desire may also emerge after closeness begins: after feeling safe, talking gently, noticing distance narrow, or becoming aware of a man’s gaze.

So if you think, “I’m not even sure what I want,” that is not strange. Human desire was never simple enough to be perfectly translated into words.