07
Marriage and a Woman’s Desire
Wanting to be desired by a man does not necessarily mean you dislike your husband. Wanting to feel another man’s desire does not automatically mean you want a divorce.
Many married women feel compelled to begin with, “It’s not that my marriage is bad.” Perhaps even that preface should not always be necessary.
Wanting to preserve your life, caring for your family, caring for your husband, and having sexual desire can all exist in the same person at the same time.
The same is true for single women. Having desire does not mean you want a boyfriend. Wanting intimate time with a man does not necessarily mean you want marriage.
Human desire does not always align neatly with a life plan.
Of course, what you actually choose to do involves agreements within a marriage, individual circumstances, and sometimes legal considerations. OPUS is not saying, “Ignore everything and do whatever you want.” Adults often hesitate precisely because they have things worth protecting.
You hesitate because there is something to protect. You are afraid because you have built something valuable. And still, the feeling may remain.
If men are not expected to stop noticing women at a certain age, there is little reason to assume women must suddenly graduate from desire simply because they have reached one.
