WHY DOES SEX HAVE SO MUCH POWER OVER US? / 5 CHAPTERS
CHAPTER 01 / 05
If I Didn’t Need Sex,
Life Would Be So Much Easier.
We can live without sex. So why do we imagine it, anticipate it, want it—and sometimes let it change how we feel and the choices we make?
Food is easier to talk about.
“I feel like sushi tonight.” “I want something sweet.” Nobody is surprised by that.
But when the thought is “I want to have sex,” something changes. On some nights, the truth may simply be: I want sex.
Would life be easier if we simply didn’t need sex?
Imagine sexual desire could simply be removed. We would never look at someone and feel our bodies drawn to them, hope an evening might lead to sex, or hurt because someone we love no longer desires us.
And yet, there are still nights when we want it.
The time we actually spend having sex is surprisingly short.
Across an entire life, how much time is actually spent having sex? Orgasm itself is smaller still—almost momentary.
What is strange is that the time spent moving toward that moment can be much longer. Falling for someone, choosing what to wear, waiting for a message, looking forward to seeing them.
Thinking about it, anticipating it and remembering it can occupy far more.
Even sex that hasn’t happened yet can move us.
Imagine dinner with someone you are beginning to find interesting. Nothing has happened, and you do not know what will happen later. Yet before leaving home, you already feel a little different.
The simple possibility that “something might happen tonight” can change the present. In some ways, sex starts influencing us much earlier.
Do we want sex—or something that exists beyond sex?
There is probably no single answer. Even for the same person, it may change from one day to another. Desire is rarely neat enough to fit into one explanation.
A brief moment can reach surprisingly far into a life.
Love, marriage, sexless relationships and affairs cannot be explained by sex alone. Yet sexual desire sometimes slips quietly into all of them.
Perhaps it is the time spent imagining it, waiting for it, wanting someone, and remembering what happened afterward.
