Enjoying Who I Am, As I Am, Right Now. | All 8 Chapters
CHAPTER 01 / 08
Not Lonely. But Some Nights, I Want to Be Touched.

Having a fulfilling life and physically longing for someone are not necessarily the same thing. Loneliness and sexual desire can each arise quietly from different places.
I have a career.
I have a family.
I have friends.
And I do not particularly mind spending my days off alone.
My relationship with my husband or partner also continues peacefully enough in terms of our everyday life together.
Or perhaps I have been living alone for a long time and have become entirely comfortable with that life.
Women like this are by no means uncommon in their 30s and 40s.
We dine alone, shop alone and travel alone.
We know how to look after our own emotional well-being.
We do not need someone beside us simply to get through each day.
Women are often surprisingly good at living independently.
And yet, from time to time, the body expresses feelings that come from somewhere entirely different.
I want to be held.
I want to kiss someone.
I want to touch a man’s body.
I want to be touched slowly and tenderly.
I want to be desired as a woman.
I want to feel sexually fulfilled.
Feelings like these.
They do not necessarily mean that you are “lonely.”
They can arise even when your life is fulfilling.
They can arise even when your career is going well.
They can arise even when you cherish your family.
They can arise even when you are blessed with good friends.
Feeling emotionally fulfilled and physically longing for someone do not always align perfectly.
Perhaps, as we grow older, we come to experience them more clearly as two separate things.
“It isn’t that I want a boyfriend.”
“It isn’t that I am deeply dissatisfied with my life with my husband.”
“I enjoy my everyday life.”
And then comes the quiet thought:
A small feeling that lingers.
At OPUS, we believe that whatever lies beyond that “but” is something deeply important.
Even if you have not decided anything yet.
Simply tell us what you are feeling right now, exactly as it is.
All 8 Chapters
- Not Lonely. But Some Nights, I Want to Be Touched.
- The Hardest Person to Understand Is Yourself.
- Time Moves a Little Differently for Men and Women.
- What You Want Is Not Necessarily a Boyfriend.
- Sexual Desire Alone Arrives in the Here and Now.
- Your Body Has Its Own Season Now.
- Every Stage of Life Has Its Own Pleasures.
- “This Is What I Want Right Now.”



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